


Our Place to Be

by briaeveridian



Series: Modern AUs [4]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Fluff, Modern AU, One True Pair, POV Ben, Plot What Plot, Soft Ben Solo, Take the fluff, There's some cussing, bookstore aesthetic, can i please visit a Ben Solo owned bookstore, for the sake of my health, i love nick drake and i think ben solo would too, no angst whatsoever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:14:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26857267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/briaeveridian/pseuds/briaeveridian
Summary: Ben owns a bookstore that isn't doing well in the age of online buying. Rey works as an electrician who's always running late. When they agree to write positive Yelp reviews for each other, Ben finds himself getting lost in more than a good book.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Modern AUs [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1918042
Comments: 46
Kudos: 117





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from the Nick Drake song referenced in the story, A Place to Be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title comes from the Nick Drake song referenced in the story, A Place to Be.

Thick, buttery light stretches across the wooden counter. It has a particularly warm afternoon glow, one that makes Ben wish he were outside walking the autumn streets. Instead, he sits here in his silent bookstore, wishing at least one person would come in and at least pretend to look for a book.

Ben’s aesthetic is from a decidedly different era. The furniture boasts wood grains that he waxes frequently. Oversized chairs with antique-inspired embroidery dot the store and cluster in the corners. Plants hang in the windows with trailing leaves that tickle the display books. It’s exactly what he’d always imagined. Except for the perpetual lack of sales.

It wasn’t always like this. _Solo Books_ , which Ben admits is an uninspired name, is seven years old. That first opening night was the happiest Ben had ever been. His entire family was here to celebrate and no one was more ecstatic about it than his dad. Han had overflowed with such pride, which was made all the more incredible because of his tendency to hide behind a gruff exterior.

His mother had been there, too, all radiant smiles for anyone who entered the newborn store. Poe, Ben’s longest friend, made sure to bring the alcohol. Over the toasts with strangers is where Poe met his now-husband Finn. Uncle Chewie, who was at peak facial hair, traveled from out of town to support his nephew-by-choice instead of blood. Ben had even accommodated Artoo and Threepio in the store, Leia and Han’s dogs, and it was the only source of anxiety that night. 

“ _Watch where you’re wagging that tail, those are first editions!_ ”

The roar of responding laughter from everyone made Ben’s cheeks turn pink.

He’d give almost anything to hear such layered voices resounding between the aisles of books now, including _the damned first editions_.

The only person who wasn’t there that night was Luke and Ben was grateful. He and his uncle had a falling out over Ben’s life choices several years prior. _It wasn’t any of Luke’s business_ , Ben reminds himself, as the residual guilt stirs from its slumber.

That same type of joy filled the store for quite some time. Until at some point the crowds of people started diminishing. Now, he’s appreciative to see anyone.

Loneliness has never left him, not entirely. It has solidified over time despite his best efforts. There’s always a hum of it at the periphery, like his own personal ghost that refuses to leave its post. 

Today encapsulates the last handful of years disturbing well; standing expectantly, hoping that someone will come through that door with some book request that would make this whole endeavor seem worth it. _Even if it’s one of those ridiculous new cross-genre stories that hasn’t left the New York Times bestseller list in months_. (He won’t deny he’s a bit of an elitist.)

Today, the bookstore remains motionless, suspended between time and space. It’s so still, the only thing that catches his eye are dust particles easing through the sunlight. He sticks his fingers into the warmth to watch the cascading chaos, each tiny fleck wrestling with the others to disperse the energy. 

A group of people walks by, all swaddled in their scarves and hats, nursing steaming beverages Ben concludes must include the words “spice” and “hazelnut.” He glowers through the window, relieved they can’t see him. Disappointed they won’t even look.

Maybe he should close up and go home. Hux, his grumpy ginger cat, wouldn’t mind some early pets. Ben stands and grabs his bag, wishing it was the tiniest bit easier to keep a bookstore afloat in this age of online shopping.

“Damn internet, with its free shipping and lower prices,” Ben huffs. Before the words are completely out of his mouth, the doorbell jingles lightly.

He whirls around, shocked at the presence of another person.

It’s a woman, young and smiling, with brown hair that’s pulled back and a tanned face. She wears overalls under an unzipped jacket and carries both a large bag and a cup of something from the coffee shop nearby.

“Hi, sorry I’m late,” she says brusquely, walking to the counter. She sets her cup and bag down.

“Late?” The letters drip slowly from his mouth, confusion adorning his face.

“For the electrical problem you called about?” She points at her jacket label. Ben tilts his head to read _Niima Electric_ and understanding dawns at last.

“I call you last week,” Ben replies flatly.

“Yeah, that’s why I’m _sorry_?” She furrows her brow and making an irritated _obviously_ gesture. Despite her clear and instant dislike of him, her British accent strikes him as incredibly cute.

“I waited for a couple of days. But when I didn’t hear back I had my Uncle Chewie fix it.” Ben looks at her closely, wondering how long he can keep her here without it being weird. “He did a good job. It was free, too.” 

Her glower deepens. “Fine. I guess I forgot to update you on the state of my schedule. I didn’t mean to blow you off,” she says defensively.

“I know. Bad for business, blowing people off.” Ben tries to stay aloof but he has a sense that he’s falling from a great height. He’s winded by her presence, enthralled by the scrunch of her nose and the line of her neck.

“And you must know all about what’s bad for business since it’s what you seem to specialize in,” she snaps, waving her arms dramatically at the empty store.

A laugh erupts from him and it feels good.

“You’re not wrong. It’s amazing that I’ve kept the store open this long, actually.”

The woman relaxes slightly at his self-deprecation. She looks around, deep in thought. After several long seconds, she turns to him.

“Well, if that’s all, then I’ll be on my way. Sorry again for the delay.” Already she’s at the door and Ben leans forward, wracking his brain for an excuse to talk more. “Please don’t leave a bad review on Yelp…” Her almond eyes plead as she holds the door open.

“What if I promise to leave a positive review if you leave a good one for the bookstore?” The words string together and he feels himself blushing. 

A small smile tugs at her mouth. He notices the coffee cup and carries it to the door, excited to be closer to her.

“Sure, that’s not a bad idea. Oh thanks,” she says as he hands her the cup.

“It’s nearly empty. Do you want to get another one? I was about to close up anyway.” He’s shocked by his courage. She’s a stranger, definitely busy, but he craves the chance to extend their interaction.

The woman’s eyes grow wide as she searches his face. “I can’t spare the time. Lots of clients I’ve been blowing off,” she adds with a smirk.

“Alright. I hope someone else has actual business for you.” He holds the door for her.

“If you find any other issues, I’ll be sure to put you on top of the list. And I’ll give you a discount, to better compete with Uncle Chewie’s free work.” She winks at him and his entire chest becomes a fluttering thing.

She still lingers against his arm that holds the door. She’s waiting for something. Not sure what else to say, he states, “I’m Ben.”

“Rey,” the woman says at once, smiling more generously.

“I’m looking forward to reading that review, Rey,” Ben says, astonished once more by his directness.

“Likewise, Mr. Solo.” Something glints in her eye as she turns away. He lets the door swing shut and watches her walk to a pick-up truck that is probably older than she is. It starts after several seconds of worrisome noises and she drives out of view.

He wonders how quickly he can reasonably get her back in the store.

* * *

Ben decides he should wait a little while before writing that a review. He doesn’t want to appear overly eager. And yet, he can’t stop thinking about compliments to give her.

When Ben arrives at home Hux greets his with a meow from the couch. The house is small and comfy, full of his favorite books and artwork. It’s the only thing he inherited from his grandmother Padme and it’s more than he could ever ask for.

Plopping onto the couch Ben grabs his laptop. Hux immediately slinks closer to demand a steady and focused scratching of the forehead. Ben complies, but too briefly, and Hux protests loudly.

“Sorry, gotta do something.” He searches Niima Electric and finds a plain website probably made years ago and never updated. The _About_ section is short but references someone named Plutt building the small business up from the ground. He wonders why there’s no mention of the company’s electricians.

He starts to type a series of words that jostle in his brain.

_“Though several days tardy, the electrician from Niima Electric made sure to connect with me, the customer, and brightened my otherwise woefully depressing day.”_

He grimaces and backspaces.

 _“Niima Electric is a small business with a hard-working electrician who made an effort to insult my shop because I had someone else do the work she was supposed to do the week before”_.

“Sheesh, that’s not even well-written,” Ben says and Hux looks up at him. With a quick select-all-delete, Ben’s word processor returns to its blank state.

“We need food. Then we’ll be able to write something honest and positive without being creepy. It’s a delicate balance, Hux. You’re lucky to live such an existence, without these human stresses.” Hux purrs as Ben scratches the feline’s jaw.

Ben turns on Nick Drake, his preferred cooking music, and bustles around the kitchen. He likes the shift into fall because it allows him to wear layers- which have always acted as a defensive exterior- and eat lots of soup. His fondest childhood memories include making soup with his mother, who belted out _Pink Moon_ with such discordant, happy abandon that Ben would always end up singing along.

He smiles at the thought. _A Place to Be_ comes on and Ben feels his eyes sting as they always do at various times during the entire album. He chops potatoes, onions, and carrots, letting the lyrics fill the air as Hux nuzzles at his ankles.

 _“Now I'm darker than the deepest sea; Just hand me down, give me a place to be,”_ he sings quietly. 

He slips some fresh sourdough to the toaster and dishes out Hux’s dinner. The cat promptly chows down, his loud purr hardly abating. Ben sets his small round table. His current book, _The Shadow of the Wind_ , sits near the candle at the center of the table. It’s not going down as one of his favorites, but he finds the layers of intrigue and plot engaging enough.

As he’s about to sit, a bewilderingly strong feeling pulls him to his laptop. He dashes to the living room, opens it up, and goes to the _Solo Books_ Yelp page. To his delight, there’s a new review.

Ben can’t hold back a sprawling smile when he sees it’s from Rey Niima. When he notices she gave him five stars he feels an intense thrumming in his chest. He looks over her words with breath paused.

_“What a cozy, joyful nook! The store is absolutely bursting with books, each a treasure looking for a pair of hands to hold it with delight. And trust me, I wanted to hold all of them. The owner is kind, attentive, and thoughtful. If you’re looking for a great read, skip Amazon, and go support a local business!”_

Ben can’t believe it. It’s the lone Yelp review he’s had in months and it’s quite the endorsement. _All the more pressure to get her review right…_. As he walks back to eat, it clicks that her name is Niima. He wonders if Plutt is her father.

He wants to know more about her. Rey’s words give him a boost of confidence that feels exhilarating. A plan hatches quickly in his mind as he slurps his soup. He makes a content noise as _Pink Moon_ begins playing over the speaker.

* * *

At the bookstore the next day, Ben clicks away on his laptop. He’s been through several iterations of the review and has finally finetuned the components he will include. _Now it’s time to polish it_. 

With pursed lips, he imagines Han and Leia making fun of him for obsessing over something as simple as an online review. But Ben has always had a tendency to be consumed by things. _And they’re not here_ he thinks, sadness wrinkling the edges of his mind.

He shakes his head and reads the draft.

_“Niima Electric offers unparalleled customer service and attention. Ms. Niima, after a delay that was out of her hands, personally apologized and committed to correcting the situation. Her ability to put one at ease and build trust makes this reviewer confident he won’t be using any other electrician for the foreseeable future.”_

 _No, no, that comes off way too strong_. Ben ruffles his hair absently and takes a deep breath. The doorbell sounds through the store, startling him.

“Poe!” Ben says and rounds the counter to embrace his friend. Poe does his best to return the hug with both hands carrying coffees.

“Hey, you’re alive! You don’t seem to respond to my texts anymore. Thought I’d drop by. It sure is quiet.” Poe glances around. He offers Ben the steaming cup, who inclines his head gratefully.

“It’s fair to say that ‘business owner’ probably isn’t one of my greatest skills,” Ben replies, sipping at the drink.

“You need to get on social media. Why is that so hard to understand? It’s free advertising!” Poe’s voice holds the irritation of having brought this up on several occasions. Ben makes a disgusted face. “Finn can help, you know. He’s the resident expert on the youths,” Poe says, jutting his lips forward to pronounce the word.

Ben chuckles. “I don’t have the budget to pay someone to create social media accounts.”

“He’d probably volunteer his time creating them. But yeah, to run them, he’d need compensation. Don’t worry, old pal. We’ll keep Solo Books afloat!” Poe says heartily, clapping a hand on Ben’s back.

“How do you manage that level of positivity?” It’s a question he’s asked countless times over the course of their decades-long friendship.

As always, Poe flashes his dazzling smile and shrugs. “What are you working on?” the man asks, indicating the laptop with a tilt of his head.

“Oh, um… nothing, you know-” Ben winces as Poe narrows his eyes.

“Mmhmm. Tell me now.”

“It’s really… actually nothing. I’m writing a Yelp review for an electrician.”

“You mean the one who never showed? I hope you’re giving that business exactly zero stars,” Poe says and drinks deeply from his cup.

“Actually, she did finally show up. Yesterday. And she was really nice. Made it clear she’d give me a discount and be right over for the next job.” Ben hopes his voice sounds level, neutral.

“Interesting,” Poe says slowly, sensing something else. He waits, knowing more information is about to be supplied. _He knows me too well_.

“Poe, she’s amazing. Funny and present. Very snarky. Beautiful, too,” Ben gushes, unable to hold it back any longer. “She gave me a fantastic review even though she didn’t buy anything, didn’t even touch a book.”

“Ahh, I see. You’re not disappointed in the least by that. Hoping she’ll be touching something _else_ in the near future, eh?” Poe wiggles his eyebrows and grins.

Ben balks. “Don’t be gross. It’s only an exchange of reviews…”

“But you want something more and I totally get it. You’ve been too, _solo_ , if I may be so corny, for a long time. Let’s see what you’ve got,” Poe says and jumps over the counter.

“It barely takes any longer to walk around, Poe. That’s vintage, as you well know,” Ben says wearily. 

“Whoops, I always forget… Ahh, here it is.” Poe reads silently then starts typing. “Well, it’s formal, which is your style, so I won’t change that. There are some fibs here, obviously, because she totally messed up… But it’s ready to post,” Poe says and raises his finger dramatically to hit the button.

“Wait! I have to read it first!” Ben dashes to his side and leans over Poe’s shoulder anxiously.

 _“Niima Electric offers the kind of customer service and attention that I was hoping for. Ms. Niima, after an unexpected delay, personally apologized and committed to correcting the situation. Her ability to put one at ease and build a trusting relationship makes this reviewer confident he won’t think of any other electrician for any of his future needs.”_

“Hell no. That’s… too suggestive. You make _needs_ sound so dirty.” Ben snaps the computer shut.

“My sweet, innocent friend. You’ve got to try a little, dip a toe in the water, see what bites! Anyway, you were the one sending out major _date me_ vibes in that review, I just cleaned it up a bit.” Poe finishes his coffee and moves toward the door. “Post it. I think you’ll be happy with the results.”

He winks at Ben and opens the door. 

“Alright, thanks for your help, I guess. I promise I’ll respond to you soon…”

“You’d better! Or I’ll start communicating to you through Yelp reviews, too!”

Ben snorts and waves goodbye. As the door glides shut he sighs and paces back and forth. Finally, Ben submits the review and gulps the rest of his coffee, wishing it had a different kind of kick.

* * *

When the outlet in the bathroom starts sparking later that day, Ben can’t believe his luck.

He delays calling for an hour, debating what to say, how to say it, even how to stand. _Should I leave her to it? Or stay near the bathroom? What if she doesn’t want to talk?_

Over the previous weekend, his Uncle Chewie had come by to fix the front entrance light, the initial reason for calling an electrician. They’d propped the door open and told stories the whole time. No customers would come in (either because of the door being blocked or the looming hairy man doing the blocking) but nonetheless, it was a great morning.

He knows what Chewie would tell him to do. _“Make the call, Benjie. Stop dillydallying.”_

Ben sets his jaw and picks up his cell phone. After two rings, a deep voice picks up, the same one he’d heard before. It’s disappointing but he pulls it together.

“Niima Electric,” it barks. 

“Hi, uh, I have a sparking outlet in the restroom of my bookstore. Can you please send Rey to fix it at her earliest convenience?”

There’s a prolonged pause followed by a huffing sound. “I’ll add you to her schedule. She’s always running behind, silly girl. Give me your number and I’ll have her call you when she has an opening.” Ben assumes it’s Plutt and decides he doesn’t like the man at all. He sounds arrogant, impatient, and rude. And he doesn’t seem fond of Rey, either.

Because of this, Ben is no longer sure if running late is Rey’s fault. Ben shares his number and then the phone clicks. He can’t even tell if Plutt heard the whole number. 

Dejectedly, Ben sets his phone down. Maybe the universe wasn’t throwing him a bone after all.

* * *

The next day is busy enough that Ben doesn’t have many chances to think about Rey. He makes back-to-back sales, pulling certain recommended books from the shelves that haven’t seen the light of day for months. The excitement leaves him dancing behind the counter, caught up in the feeling of how the store once felt, full of eager readers and voices weaving between the shelves.

A ringing sound makes him freeze. Ben glances up to see Rey in the door, a smile on her face as she catches him in the middle of striking a pose. His arms drop and a blush seizes his cheeks.

“Hi. I sold some books.”

She lets the door swing shut and laughs. “Is that so surprising? You do own a bookstore.”

“Sometimes I’m not sure what it is I own.” Ben walks around the counter. “I’m glad you got my message.” He exhales and marvels at the way her eyes sparkle and lips curve. 

“Oh, Plutt didn’t give it to me. But I did find it, thank goodness. I rushed over as soon as I could. You know, to keep my promise,” Rey says and sighs into one of the chairs nearby. Ben follows to the seating area.

“He seems rather horrible.”

“He is. But without him, N.E. would have gone out of business when my parents disappeared.” She glances at him, uncertain how he will take the heavy confession she let slip.

“What happened to them?” Ben sinks into the chair beside her.

“I don’t know. But Plutt has been my guardian ever since. N.E. is all they left for me,” Rey says softly, her hazel eyes shifting around the bookstore. “Thanks for the review, by the way. The only electrician you’ll think of, huh?” she asks playfully and Ben respects her need to change subjects.

“Ahh, that was… my friend Poe’s suggestions,” Ben says before wincing. “I mean, I wanted to say that, but he helped with the phrasing. He says I’m ‘awkward’ and I suppose I can’t really refute that,” Ben finishes, embarrassment making his eyebrows inch toward his hairline.

“I think you’re cute,” Rey says and her cheeks color slightly. She’s wearing the same overalls and Ben knows for a fact he wouldn’t mind seeing her exactly like this for the rest of his life.

He laughs nervously, giddily, and clears his throat. “Then why didn’t you want to get a coffee yesterday?” Lowering his face, Ben glances at her through his lashes.

“I really didn’t have the time. Plutt tends to forget all kinds of jobs that I have to rush around to complete at the last minute. It’s exhausting. Today, I’m too tired to care.” She leans back. “Do you actually have an electrical issue, or were you just trying to see me?” The corner of her mouth twitches upward.

“Honestly, I absolutely wanted to see you again. And also my outlet decided to start sparking. I figured it was a sign,” he murmurs and meets her eyes. “I’m not in a rush to get it fixed, but I know you are. So we can do that now or…” He’s rambling, of course, and yet Rey focuses on him entirely. Then she bridges the gap between them, her face coming wonderfully close.

“I’d like to get that coffee. To hell with Plutt.” 

As if possessed, Ben finds his hand coming to her face, his right thumb almost touching her cheek. She tilts into it and she exhales.

“But I don’t want you to lose any business. Or get any bad reviews,” he adds softly, his glance dipping to her lips repeatedly.

“I know someone who will lie and write all kinds of positive stuff. I’m not worried,” she teases. Rey bites her lip, stands, and pulls him up. 

The caged-animal in Ben’s torso threatens to burst forth. Their hands remain locked together and a thought strikes him. “How did you know my last name was Solo?”

“I looked you up before I came here. I kind of have a thing for bookstores.” She says it shyly as if it’s anything out of the ordinary.

“Me, too. After you, Ms. Niima,” he says and places his hand on her lower back. When she smiles at him, it feels like the moment before starting a new book, the pages of which he knows instantly he will lose himself in. He smiles back at her, relishing the possibility of her; that she’s a perfect place to be.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's Part II. I'm not convinced it needs to exist at all but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless... 😬

“So, what are we making?”

Rey looks at him, head tilted and hair escaping from her bun. The light accentuates the green in her eyes, sun-warmed moss he wishes he could nestle into. Her lips revert to their almost perpetual smile as she waits for a reply. 

He’s beginning to learn the subtle differences between each smile, some shy, others brash. There’s one that he hopes might be reserved for him alone. _That’s quite the presumption. But there’s no harm in wishing_.

“Wild rice and sweet potato soup. Does that sound alright?” 

She looks more open than he’s ever seen, content in her brown sweater and tight jeans. The kitchen that usually has no one else beyond him and Hux has never looked more radiant.

As if summoned, Hux appears at their feet meowing for Rey’s attention. She grins and bends over to pet him. The responding purr is loud and grateful, to Ben’s surprise. Hux doesn’t usually like new people. _This is a good sign_.

“Mmm, sounds delicious. I’m really not much of a cook, though.” It’s clearly something she feels insecure about and Ben is eager to chase away the negative feelings skipping across her face. 

“I’ll lead you through it. Or you can sit while I make it. Whatever you want to do,” Ben says hurriedly.

Rey straightens and moves closer, sliding between him and the island. Automatically, Ben steps back but she catches his plaid shirt in her fingers. His throat tightens on a breath and he almost chokes. “I want to help. Plus, I think you’ll be a good teacher,” she says softly.

Hux protests the shift of focus but neither human can spare him a glance.

As she tugs, Ben decides that as long as he stays present, he probably won’t mess this up. Because even though it’s incredibly new, his shoulders relax and his muscles unwind in Rey’s presence. She puts him at ease with a simple look. It’s a power no one has held over him in his entire life.

It’s their second time together outside of the bookstore. The coffee shop date had lasted far longer than it should have. Rey had missed the next appointment and Plutt had called to chastise her at high volume, much to Ben’s aggravation. But between the two of them and at least four rounds of coffee, Ben had known that he was in love.

_Not that I’m going to say anything quite so overwhelming to this woman who stares at me in such a way my knees actually go weak. How is that possible? Knees are joints, they shouldn’t wobble..._

As he’s slipping down the precipice of his own thoughts, Rey keeps peering at him curiously. There’s something she wants and he has a sense it’s what he’s been thinking about for days. But it could also be something as simple as food on his face.

Whatever the case, his mouth starts forming words.

“Rey, you are beautiful,” he whispers as his hands hover in the air on either side of her. It’s awkward and yearning and precisely sums up how he observes himself around Rey.

Her eyes twinkle as she pulls him closer. The air itself snaps and writhes, alive with excitement. Ben wonders if he’ll feel a shock if he touches her. He decides to risk it.

Bringing a tentative hand to her arm, Ben wraps his fingers around the sleeve and the wool fibers of the sweater half-heartedly snag at his skin. She exhales audibly and at once he’s swimming in the moment; afternoon warmth circling them in the kitchen, strings poised to ring out exuberantly when finally plucked, the surprising lack of meowing.

“Can I kiss you?”

Her teeth flash through her smile. “Yes.”

And then he’s crashing forward, a wave spurred onward by an impatient wind, thrust upon her landscape. His lips become parentheses around hers until she parts them, layered and plush. She’s on her tiptoes to reach him and he arches his back to decrease the work she has to invest. He wants her to relish this, to crave it again, wants to make it a habit of theirs, meeting as one in space and time. And he’s more than eager to compromise the entire stretch, no matter how uncomfortable it may be for his lofty form.

Rey’s tongue darts forth and Ben’s eyes roll back in his head. _It’s too much. I’m going to splinter and scatter_. With her strange power of sensing his thoughts, she brings her hands to the sides of his waist gently, fervently, and he knows she won’t let any disassembling occur. _Not until the time is right_ , he almost hears her say.

She clutches at his shirt and lowers onto her feet, cheeks rosy and round.

“Mmm. I’m glad you called about that broken light, Ben. I keep thinking it must have been fate.”

He keeps his eyes locked on her lips until her words hit him. He matches her gaze. “I’ve never believed in fate. But if that’s what brought you into my life, I will never doubt it again.” He leans forward to brush his nose against hers and an unexpected high-pitched noise erupts. It turns into a laugh that feels breathy, light. His mouth curves into a smile at the tone.

Holding on for a little longer, Ben breathes her in. The delight he feels takes such physical shape he sags with its existence. It’s hard to properly grasp how pleased he is that the bookstore had electrical problems. 

_Bonding over a contrived Yelp review isn’t the worst of how-we-got-together stories_.

Hux decides to remind them he still has certain expectations and they both look down at him. She nudges Ben with her hip and pets the cat. “I’m ravenous! Strange, really. I never forget about food...” she says thoughtfully as Hux leans into her palm. 

Ben’s cheeks color and he blinks bashfully. “Right, yes. Of course.” He takes the bag of wild rice and an onion. “First, we get some broth boiling and wash the veggies. Will you bring that bag of sweet potatoes to the sink?” 

He busies himself, gathering tools and ingredients, assembling his workspace. Rey’s elbow touches his as she sets the potatoes on the counter. His whole body fills with a rippling cord of thrill. The effect she has still baffles him.

“Thanks. Can you wash these and start shredding them?” Ben’s uncertain how directorial he should be. She’s confessed her lack of experience in meal prep but she also never failed to surprise him with various hidden talents and knowledge.

She gets to work without hesitation and he relaxes further. “Can I play some music? I like to have it in the background as I cook.”

Nodding enthusiastically, Rey’s loose bun bobs in a beam of light that slices through the kitchen window. Ben detects the inflections of lighter brown as the hairs dance. 

He puts Pink Moon on shuffle, enjoying the unpredictability of what song will plan next. This listening session starts with _Which Will_ and he exhales, catching Rey’s attention.

Without prompting Ben explains. “My mother loved Nick Drake. This was the album she would play when we made food together. There were others in rotation, of course. Fleetwood Mac, Simon and Garfunkle. I can trace my love of cooking to those experiences.” 

“It makes me endlessly happy you enjoy cooking because I enjoy eating. More than most activities, really.” She says it seriously and Ben tries to stifle the burbling laugh that mounts within him. Rey is none the wiser. “My aunt Maz loved music from the ‘60s and ‘70s. So I’m pretty familiar with a lot of those groups.” She turns the tap on and washes the potatoes. He can’t help but notice how her hips sway a bit to the music. Then, as if possessed, Rey turns the water off and whirls around to look at him. “What happened to your parents? You know mine disappeared. But you haven’t shared much about yours. It sounds like you have a great childhood.”

Ben clears his throat.

“My childhood was… good. I can’t complain about any of it, really. My parents worked a lot but made sure I never felt alone. Their marriage was kind of strained so it was normal for me to be with one of them at any time. They juggled everything pretty well. Plus, they fought less that way.”

Ben moves the pot on the stove for something to do. Tiny bubbles start to form as he gazes at the sloshing liquid. “Han died a few years ago in a motorcycle crash.” Rey is in front of him before all of the words are out. “He liked the adrenaline rush. But it was late at night and he hadn’t realized how wet the roads were.” Each word plunges to the floor like a stone through water. Ben sighs. “At least he was able to be at the store when I opened.”

His gaze is low and heavy until Rey embraces him. “I’m so sorry. That’s horrible.” Her hand migrates to cup the side of his face. “Parents should never leave in any form. I think it should be against the law.”

It’s an attempt at levity and she somehow sensed he needed it. Ben squeezes his lips together and nods, more thankful than she knows.

“And your mother?” she prods kindly.

“An overdose. She’d had back surgery before _Solo Books_ was ever a thing. And over time, the pain medication… Well, I’m still pretty furious the drug companies get away with pushing their addictive prescriptions and that doctors seem to miss how fucking problematic these medications are,” Ben says, nostrils flaring and hands folding in on themselves.

Rey is nodding along, a slew of emotions marking her expression. “It’s incredible that it’s such a widespread and preventable cause of death. Ben, I’m deeply sorry.” 

To his astonishment, tears gather along the ridge of her lash. Her compassion enfolds him the instant before her arms do. He sags into the embrace, wondering if this grief is tinged with her own. _How can it not be? She doesn’t even know what happened to her parents_.

The pot bubbles over and makes Ben jump. Embarrassed, he turns the burner down. His throat is dry and tight with emotion. Running a hand through his hair, he bends down to place a kiss on Rey’s cheek. He feels her smile further into his lips.

“Thank you for being kind and understanding. It’s nothing compared to what you’ve gone through.”

Rey pulls back to pierce him with her gaze. “No reason to compare. Besides, is it actually worse to miss something you never had?” The sentence strikes such a cold blow to his heart that he grabs her, too hard, and a gasp of air brushes his skin. She huffs again, but this time it’s a laugh.

“Okay, you’re bear-hugger. I’m glad to know that,” she murmurs and pulls back. Ben’s hands rest on her hips and he’s close to kissing her again, about to throw himself over the precipice and not care at all how long or hard he falls. So long as it’s with _her_.

Suddenly, someone knocks on the front door. Ben groans and drops his hands.

“Better get that,” he mumbles.

Rey kneels down to pet the much-neglected Hux as Ben heads to the door. When he opens it he desperately wishes he hadn’t.

“Ben!” Poe yelps enthusiastically. “You keep ignoring my texts! What is with you and your phone? Are you allergic to notifications?” He seizes Ben’s shoulder and smiles broadly. So broadly, in fact, it hurts Ben’s cheeks to witness.

Poe walks past him into the apartment. “Mm, smells like you’re cooking. Good. I’m hungry.” Knowing his way around, Poe walks directly into the kitchen. “Hmm, you cleaned up! That’s odd. Where’s that precious furball I love so much?”

Ben trips behind, trying to interject but unable due to the rate of Poe’s rambling. When Poe stops short, Ben almost runs into him. At the sight of Rey Poe’s demeanor shifts completely.

“Hey,” the shorter man puffs out, eyes wide.

“Hi, I’m Rey,” she says at once, sticking out her hand.

“Ahhh,” Poe grins deviously. “The electrician. Now I see why he was so willing to forgive such tardiness.” Poe engulfs her hand with both of his and displays his perfect teeth. 

_Ever the flirt_. 

Ben sidles between Poe and the doorframe. “Rey, this is Poe. He’s my oldest friend. And he’s very much in a relationship so he should stop with that whole… over-the-top facial presentation,” Ben gestures erratically at Poe’s face and gives him a pointed glare for good measure.

Lips immediately forming a flat line, Poe attempts a serious face. “Yes, I am happily _involved_ and that doesn’t mean I don’t recognize attractive people. Finn accepts this reality. And anyway, Finn’s worse than I am.” Poe gives Rey a side-long look and leans closer.

Ben claps a hand to his face. _Why am I friends with this guy_? It’s a helpless thought but underneath it all, he wouldn’t change anything about Poe, not really. They’ve always balanced each other out; Poe outgoing as a sunrise, plastering his colors all over the sky for everyone to bask in while Ben sticks to the periphery where night clings to the world. It works, however confounding it is to Ben after all these years.

Poe stoops down to pick up Hux, who has been weaving figure eights around his ankles. “Well, well, pumpkin-cat. I’m afraid you’ll soon be replaced as the apple of Ben’s eye.” He smoothly extracts a seat from under the table with his foot and sits down, cat clutched possessively to his chest. Poe presses his fingertips into Hux’s scalp as his gaze darts between Ben and Rey. The feline couldn’t look happier about the current arrangement, though Ben’s incapable of sharing the sentiment.

“Ben is teaching me to make soup,” Rey contributes, cutting through the tense atmosphere with a jovial shake of her shoulders.

“And Poe isn’t staying.” Ben crosses the kitchen with one long step and stands menacingly behind the other man. “Up,” he demands.

“You ignore my attempts to reach out and now you’re forcing me to leave? I haven’t seen you all week!” Poe says indignantly, his exterior cracking slightly to reveal a glimpse of actual sadness.

“Let him stay, Ben! I’m sure we could use the extra hands since we’re already forty-five minutes behind schedule.” She mouths _”I am hungry”_.

Poe, beaming, raises his eyebrows. “I wonder what form that delay took?” His eyes turn mischievous and he winks at Rey. She promptly snorts and relief courses through Ben. _I’m glad she’s immune to Poe’s charms. There’s no way I have ever been able to compete with him_. 

Rey looks at him and it feels as though he is attached to a series of clouds that is floating away. He’s ungrounded by the look in her eyes. He has to clutch at the counter to steady himself.

“Nothing so exciting or scandalous. We were talking about our dead parents.” Rey goes back to shredding the vegetables.

Ben watches his friend deflate.

“Oh. I’m sorry. I had no idea.”

Her shoulders rise and drop without turning to face them. “Ben and I seem to have a lot in common.”

Poe’s jocularity returns. “Are you an elitist technophobe who doesn’t believe in putting in the time to make his friends feel appreciated and valued?” 

“More or less,” she replies lightly.

“Alright, I get it. I’m a terrible friend. Why are you actually here?” Ben pours the bag of rice into the boiling broth. He wants to get rid of the irritatingly high-energy man as soon as possible.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake. Why the sad tunes? Isn’t this supposed to be a date?” At his words, Ben’s ears register the music for the first time in a while. They’re midway through _Things Behind the Sun_.

Ben inhales sharply to sustain him through the extended retort he has planned. “I’ll have you know this is an important album to me-”

“Yes, I know. Sorry.” Poe stands and hovers beside Ben at the stove. “Sometimes I’m a dick.” When Ben does not argue, Poe seamlessly charges into a different topic.

“I’m here because Finn said he’ll set up your social media accounts this weekend! Gotta run some details by you before he does. And I’ve got a new name for the store! Are you ready for it?” Poe’s eyes widen to match his gaping smile.

Ben furrows his brow as Rey walks over. “A new name? I didn’t know you wanted to change it. I like _Solo Books_. But I do agree about the need for a more robust online platform.”

“You two are in leagues, aren’t you? Backing me into a proverbial corner on this subject? Ganging up against me in the kitchen, the most sacred of all places to me?” Ben tries to keep himself from gesticulating too wildly, or else the boiling rice will end up scalding the hell out of all three of them. He works his jaw ferociously as Rey and Poe stare at him.

“You done with your tantrum?” Poe asks patiently.

Ben shakes his head. “You make it seem like I’m hard to be around. And yet you keep seeking me out.” He admits his mood has soured considerably. It’s not at all how he wanted the afternoon to unfold. 

Rey switches sides and wraps her fingers around his wrist. “I think you should hear your friend out.”

“Thank you, Rey,” Poe says, clearly taken aback by her support. Ben’s not sure how his friend can manage to swing so dramatically at the drop of a hat. _Maybe that’s something he and I have in common..._ He darkens further at the thought.

“Okay, here’s the name… _Force of Will Books_! Eh, eh? What do you think?” Poe places his hands on his hips proudly, waiting for the accolades to rain down upon him.

Ben doesn’t respond immediately. Poe’s hands drop and he rushes to elaborate. “Because it’s through your sheer force of will this thing is open at all, and especially after several slow years. It’s a testament to your strength and determination! As well as your business acumen! You couldn’t have made it this far lacking the business sense I always assumed you were incapable of.”

“That was a string of compliments followed by an insult and I’m not sure where to pick it up.” Ben turns back to stir the rice. He imagines a bubble of magma threatening to break through the surface and it’s taking heightened focus to keep it under control.

“You’re stirring it too much,” Poe cuts in and Ben loses his internal battle.

“I know! I just need something _else_ to focus on besides you! Meddlesome, judgement, know-it-all, _ass hole_ ,” Ben articulates angrily over the stove.

“Well, pardon me,” Poe replies stiffly, clearly hurt. “What an absurd idea to try to help.” He gives Hux one more pet and nods at Rey. “Good luck.” He’s gone before Ben can properly inhale.

At once regret floods him. “Damnit. He’s… relentless, exhausting. All I wanted was to be alone with you…” His breathing is embarrassingly unsteady. _It’s too soon for Rey to witness how emotionally wrecked I am. She’ll be out the door as fast as Poe if she sees me break down_. Grinding the heels of his hands into his eyes, Ben tries to keep the tears contained.

Rey plants her hands above his hips, anchoring him and a tremor rushes through him. Ben lets himself feel her, a companionship that is unfamiliar yet heart-stoppingly right. The spike of intensity settles and his hands drop. “Poe is the one person who has always been there for me. He’s never not supported me. And I treat him so poorly.”

Unexpected hands inch up his chest. “Ben. Be kind to yourself. We take things out on the people we are most comfortable with. And we’re all struggling with various kinds of emotional baggage. As long as you apologize and try to do better, I think Poe will get it. He seems very understanding. And he clearly loves you.”

The sting of tears recedes and Ben sniffs. “What if I’m not capable of change?” It’s a startling question he hadn’t directly let himself consider ever before. But with Rey, it takes shape naturally.

“Of course you’re capable. As I’m capable of learning how to cook. And how to be on time.” Her lips hitch up on one side.

“Fair enough.” Her gaze stokes a flicker of flame deep within him but he tries to shift his attention. “If we don’t finish this soup I will never forgive myself.”

“Me either. Though a certain type of distraction is welcome, too” she teases. Ben feels a dramatic blush crowd his cheeks and invade his ears, as well. 

“By the way, why are you so resistant to social media?” The question catches him off-guard.

“I don’t like… letting people help me. I want to do it on my own. And I don’t like having to change myself in response to society’s demands. _And_ I don’t like interacting with strangers to sell books.”

Rey’s weight lingers on him, her warmth keeping his nerves on high alert. Ben has to keep himself from trembling. _How long can I make this last? Could I be lucky enough to hold her like this forever_?

She squeezes him. “Would you let me help?”

He thinks for a minute, enjoying the curve of her brow and line of her chin. “If you let me help you with your work. It’s polite to reciprocate, you know. Plus… it would make me feel better, too.” His breath makes the tendrils of hair bounce on her forehead.

“The idea is to practice accepting things from others, Ben.” Rey leans her head against his chest. He sighs and clasps his hands on her back.

“Yes. Fine. But I refuse to not help you. Plutt is a jerk and you need to have full ownership of the business your parents left you.”

Rey brings her index finger to his ribs and pokes. “Fine. I accept. See how easy it is?”

Ben smiles. “You set an amazing example in many ways.” He indulges the urge to kiss her and she opens to him like a book whose spine is well-worn.

Hux curls up on their feet and purrs. As _Our Place to Be_ pours through the speaker, Ben places a series of fevered kisses around Rey’s face, then twirls her on the tile. 

Hux is the only one to protest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why the album is such an integral part of the story but it just IS and to anyone who doesn't like it I actually am sorry because that can really pull people out of the story ^siiighhhh^. Quite the run-on. Anyway. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> ✨Thank you for reading ✨ 
> 
> You can find me on [tumblr](https://briaeveridian.tumblr.com/) where my SW obsession lives aggressively.


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